Very very unsurprisingly, the industry of sex toys is worth over $15 billion a year, and it is really no secret that men, women, transgendered, whatever-the-gender, use sex toys. According to research, the taboos around vibrators and other items designed to boost individual or mutual pleasure are disappearing as more people (and couples) turn to a far more intimate sort of technology. But how does the use of sex toys affect the overall enjoyment that both parties have from their relationship?

What does research show us about sex toys?

Males who had used sex toys with their partners reported to be less sexually satisfied than men who had never used one. The researchers could not pinpoint why this group’s satisfaction was lower. Given that the majority of heterosexual men who had used vibrators with a spouse claimed they did it to make their partner’s experience more enjoyable (rather than their own), It’s possible that the vibrator had no effect on these men’s sexual pleasure, or that it was poor to begin with.

However, some heterosexual males who have used vibrators with their partners (either because their partner recommended it or because they naturally believed it would increase their partner’s enjoyment of sex) may have felt that needing to use one reflected negatively on their own sexual abilities. It would make sense if their sexual pleasure remained low if this was the case. (No one wants to feel bad about themselves in bed.) This is a misconception however and it should not be a concern when you buy sex toys online.

The biggest myth of using sex toys

One of the most prevalent misunderstandings regarding sex toys is that using one implies that your spouse isn’t a good enough lover. Another partner may be afraid that using a sex toy would replace them or that they will become excessively dependant on them for arousal and/or pleasure.

In general, couples who can experiment with new ways of being intimate, such as trying out one or more sex toys, do better in terms of sustaining passion and desire (along with relationship happiness) over time.

The degree of openness and communication between partners will likely determine whether sex toys enhance or cause tension in a relationship. According to several research, the more positively people in relationships assess their interactions with their partners, the higher their attraction for one another and the happiness they get from their relationship is.

Positive communication, in the context of sex toys, implies that partners who feel threatened can express their worries and receive reassurance from their partners. And that a desire to use a sex toy is not a judgment on their desirability or sexual aptitude. (Similarly, a partner who wants to use a sex toy should be allowed to express his or her desire without being criticized or embarrassed.)

Understanding this is, in my opinion the fastest way to happy sex life with your partner. And going by the findings of the studies, the path to a happy relationship as well.

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